


whistle in the wind

by thunderylee



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Breathplay, Canon Universe, Casual Sex, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, koyama's filthy fucking mouth, polyamorous koyama, tegomasu comeback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 05:02:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14634660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: For one brief second, he really did almost reach heaven. And he hasn't managed to find his way back.





	whistle in the wind

**Author's Note:**

> this is all i can think of when i see tegoshi's emma costume. mirai = future.

It's all Emma's fault.

Not Tegoshi's cute puppy, but the single they released last year. The one with the goddamn sash that wraps snugly around Tegoshi's neck, making its presence known with every breath. It's the worst tease in the world, reminding him of mind-blowing orgasms and being brought to the edge of suffocation, the delicious cocktail of pain and pleasure that would linger longer than it took the marks on his neck to fade.

Because he is NEWS' Tegoshi Yuuya, those memories just enhance his performance.

There was a woman once, back when he made that kind of effort for other people. He wasn't too young, but definitely too inexperienced for what she had in store for him. Scarves and collars and bare hands, gentle and rough and perfect. She always made sure he was comfortable, always checked for consent.

Then she choked every last breath out of him right before he came.

It's been so long that it feels like a movie he watched, a story of a friend of a friend instead of something that happened to him personally. At the same time, he can still recall the ache in his lungs, the rawness of his throat as he gasped desperately for air. The intricate way his body processed the lack of oxygen and the orgasm concurrently left him feeling it from head to toe, inside and out, even on different levels of consciousness. 

For one brief second, he really did almost reach heaven.

And he hasn't managed to find his way back. That woman didn't waste her time with him for very long, leaving him craving much more than her body. He has no problem getting sex in any of its forms, but there hasn't been anyone whom he trusted enough to bring him within an inch of his life again--at least, anyone who would actually agree to do it.

Koyama, like many of the women he's dated in the past, was far too soft.

"Choke me," he whispered in the heat of the moment, last year after the first dress rehearsal of Emma, and Koyama trembled from more than just their sex as Tegoshi gently urged Koyama's hand up to his throat.

Koyama tried. He really did. The closest he ever made it was that first time, when he tightened his fingers around Tegoshi's neck and Tegoshi started jerking from the influx of sensations. The first breathless gasp had Koyama snatching his hand away, hiding a sob until Tegoshi held him close and promised him it was okay.

It defeats the purpose if he's the only one enjoying it.

They're not exactly having a relationship, but they hook up more often than not, and at this point, it's just easier to keep it in the group. They love each other in some way anyway, even if Koyama can't give him what he wants, can't bring himself to hurt Tegoshi, even when Tegoshi was begging him to.

It took Tegoshi a long time to approach Shige about it, and when he finally did, Shige stared at him for several long seconds before answering in true Shige fashion, "I need to think about it."

Tegoshi knew what that meant. Hopefully, Big Brother wasn't checking in on Shige that week, because his Google searches had to be rather interesting. Shige doesn't do anything important without researching it first, and that includes sex. His first time wasn't with Tegoshi, but Tegoshi was there, and he still remembers all of the statistics and relevant information Shige had bookmarked for reference to be more prepared than someone with years of experience.

Now that he actually  _had_ years of experience, he was an attentive and thoughtful lover. Whenever he actually put out, that is. Shige valued sex about as highly as an hour of vigorous cardio at the gym, which is to say he didn't particularly prioritize it. He had to be in the mood, and it wasn't often that his mood coincided with Tegoshi's. With Koyama so easily accessible (and usually in the mood), Tegoshi hadn't bothered with Shige for quite awhile before approaching him about this.

Naturally, Shige had a lot of questions. He was concerned about using props and how tight to make them. There were knots that could be easily untied in an emergency, which he demonstrated for Tegoshi using a colorful scarf. Just watching Shige's hands pull the knot tight had Tegoshi ready to agree to anything, just to be under his mercy, but the frown on Shige's face dampened the appeal.

"Don't you like the idea of choking me?" Tegoshi asked, and Shige visibly twitched. "Even if it's just to shut me up?"

"No, I don't," Shige answered firmly, and then Tegoshi was the one frowning. "I respect your kink, but it's too dangerous for me to take responsibility of your life like that. I could damage your voice, or even your  _brain_ , simply by applying too much pressure to the wrong place. I'm really sorry, Tegoshi, but I can't be the one to do this for you."

Tegoshi started to open his mouth in protest, then closed it as he remembered all the talk of enthusiastic consent going around. Truth be told, he didn't want someone who was only doing it for him anyway. He wanted someone who would be  _thrilled_  to do it, someone who would get as turned on by doing it as Tegoshi would get from having it done.

There were probably dominatrices all over the world who would gladly satisfy his kink (along with many others), but Tegoshi was past the age of one-night stands. He wanted someone he already knew, whom he trusted, and who actively wanted to participate in his breathplay fantasies.

The more time that passed, the less that person seemed to exist, and Tegoshi was fiercely reminded of it every time he wore that fucking sash.

Going into the present year and their subsequent tour preparations, in a last-ditch effort to reach that level of nirvana before giving up completely, Tegoshi started to consider Massu. Up until then, Tegoshi wouldn't have thought that Massu had sex at all, let alone would want to do it with someone he openly didn't like, but Shige had said something that lingered in Tegoshi's mind every time he saw Massu:

"He's probably wanted to choke you for years, just not in an erotic way."

If Tegoshi were a shameful person, he would be bothered with how hard that thought got him off at night, at his own home and in his hotel room that was usually adjoined to the room of the man who occupied his fantasies. He can use his own hand enough to pretend, at least to a certain point, even if it's a combination of the memory and the fantasy that ends up doing it for him.

He's only tried it himself once. He used a tie, because that's something he can quickly unravel if it became too much, but it wasn't the same. Having full control takes away the whole appeal. He  _needs_  to be helpless and at someone else's mercy or it doesn't feel good. Additionally, that other person would be there in case something went wrong. Auto-erotic asphyxiation is not the way he wants to go.

This is where Koyama can help, because if there's anything he's really good at, it's talking dirty during sex. For someone who couldn't manage to do it himself, he sure  _describes_  it well enough, leaving Tegoshi writhing and gasping beneath him like Koyama really had taken his breath away. Koyama tells a story like it's happening right at that moment, fucking Tegoshi's mind as well as his body, because he's thinking about Massu while surrounded by Koyama and Tegoshi hasn't quite understood Koyama's special brand of polyamory until right now.

"One day, you go too far with your loud mouth, and Massu snaps--shoves you up against the wall, hand on your throat. You moan--you can't help it. Something flashes in his eyes--he knows. He has to know, because he's flattened against you and you're so hard it aches, and he makes his choice by tightening his fingers, watching your face as he halts your last breath."

(Shige may be the professional writer of the group, but Koyama definitely has a future in phone sex lines if this idol thing doesn't work out for him.)

Even if Massu only wants to do it out of malicious intent, even if he doesn't even  _touch_  Tegoshi aside from literally wringing his neck, Tegoshi would take it. Massu may be distant and indifferent, but Tegoshi has spent half of his life in Massu's company and he's confident that Massu wouldn't let anything bad happen to him, if he could help it. Massu may not like him very much, but he's not a monster.

Once he talks himself into asking Massu, he actually has to  _do_  it. It's not like he's at a loss for opportunities, seeing him nearly every damn day on their tour. Koyama's filthy mouth is a pointed reminder, which sometimes resurfaces during the day at inopportune moments like 45-second costume changes between songs. Equally as helpful, Shige makes it a point to tell Tegoshi when Massu's in a good mood, or when he has a free evening, usually making the declaration in front of the entire group like the world's worst wingman.

If Massu thinks any of this is strange, he doesn't let on. Then again, he thinks most of what the other three do is strange, so it's probably no different than any other time.

They're in Nagoya when they get the news. Tegoshi bursts out laughing at the irony of he and Massu being given even  _more_ work together after Tegoshi started looking at him differently. Massu  _does_  side-eye him this time, mostly because he's being rude in a room full of executives, but that just reminds him of Koyama's story and he's unnaturally quiet for the rest of the meeting.

"I'm sorry if this isn't how you wanted to spend your summer," Massu tells him afterward, completely misreading the situation. "I thought we were done as TegoMasu too. Let's do our best together for this final run, okay?"

"I'm not disappointed..." Tegoshi starts to say, but Massu has already turned and walked away. So unpredictable, that one.

The album is called  _TegoMasu no Mirai_ and it's meant to be their last tour as a duo. Something about their fans wanting closure. Tegoshi finds it hard to believe that they have fans who aren't also NEWS fans, but he supposes the two groups are different. His dynamic with Massu definitely is.

They fall back into the routine of working together just like they had four years ago. It's a familiarity that Tegoshi hadn't known he'd been craving until he got it, picking songs and producing tracks with just Massu and their band. They put together a single, filmed a PV, and officially announced their comeback in the week after Epcotia ends, much to the delight of their fans all over the world.

"I missed you," Tegoshi blurts out when they wrap up the album recording.

Massu stares him right in the eyes. "I never went anywhere."

Not working with NEWS means not fucking Koyama as much, but that doesn't hinder any late-night phone calls (or middle-of-the-day voicemails). Sometimes they just talk though, because not working with NEWS also means a severe lack of intimacy when Tegoshi had grown accustomed to it.

He's close to some of the band members, especially the ones who have been around since TegoMasu's first tour, but most of them are in monogamous relationships, and besides, he has already decided on Massu. He's not as polyam as Koyama, at least when it comes to chasing after the person of his affection. Once Tegoshi Yuuya has his sights set on someone, he won't be deterred.

Unfortunately, with all of the preparations and rehearsals and choreography to learn, there's not really a good time for Tegoshi to bring it up. Even he's tired of Massu's face at the end of a long day, and it's only going to get worse after the tour actually begins. By the time it's over, neither one of them will want anything to do with the other for several months, which is naturally when the next NEWS single will be announced.

It's Massu who actually starts it, and not in the way Koyama had imagined. One song on  _TegoMasu no Mirai_  is called Breathe, a cute little ballad about relaxing and taking life one day at a time. The music reminds Tegoshi of a boat, swaying from side to side in time with the wind instruments, and his silly comment had become the inspiration for the concert performance.

They're in Sapporo, where it's still chilly in the heat of summer, when it happens. Tegoshi and Massu are sitting in their sparkly boat, which is slowly being rocked by juniors, and Tegoshi's singing his line, "And when your heart gets caught in your throat~" when Massu leans over and drifts his fingers around Tegoshi's neck, settling loosely under his chin.

It's so quick that Tegoshi barely falters on his long note, but the fans scream like it's Chu~Chu~Chu all over again. Tegoshi struggles to stay composed in front of an arena full of people, because Massu had just  _touched_ his  _throat_ on _stage_ , but he's undoubtedly distracted for the rest of the song. Meanwhile, Massu looks smug, more than someone who had successfully initiated unexpected fan service has a right to be, and Tegoshi makes it until they're changing for the encore before confronting him.

"What the fuck was that?!" he demands, because now that he's in Massu's face without any spectators, he doesn't quite know what to say.

"What the fuck was what?" Massu replies mockingly, and Tegoshi almost smiles at this one being as much of a brat as he is. Massu just hides it better.

"You touched my throat," Tegoshi eventually gets out, once his arms are no longer twisted in his tour shirt because he's absolutely not paying attention to what he's doing.

Massu shrugs on his own tour shirt. "I thought it went with the lyrics. Did it bother you?"

"Not exactly..."

They're ready to go back on stage now, the chants luring them like every concert before, but Tegoshi won't let this chance slip away.

"I liked it," he says firmly, looking Massu right in the eyes like he's daring the other man to respond.

What Massu actually does is turn on his heel and walk away, leaving Tegoshi no choice but to follow and ignore the situation for another fifteen minutes. It's easy to shift his attention to their fans, especially since Massu's lift is safely on the other side of the arena, and Tegoshi's already riding his after-concert high before the last note is sung.

Tomorrow begins the long trek to Sendai, but there's no way Tegoshi's waiting any longer to get his answer. He camps himself outside of Massu's hotel room like an amateur stalker, and Massu doesn't even look surprised to see him when he emerges in a brightly-patterned button-down and his trademark baggy pants.

"Aren't you coming out to have drinks with the band?" Massu asks casually, eyes raking disapprovingly over Tegoshi's T-shirt and old sweatpants. "Do you need me to dress you too?"

"If you get me out of these clothes, the only place we're going is my bed," Tegoshi tells him, and Massu's eyebrows move a fraction of an inch higher. "We need to talk about what you did."

"We'll talk later," Massu replies, his tone just as definitive as Tegoshi's, and Tegoshi is reminded of alpha males facing off in the wild before he's forcefully pushed across the hall into his hotel room. "At least put some real pants on."

Tegoshi humors him by digging out a pair of jeans without too many holes in them, but he only tosses a flannel over the T-shirt he was already wearing and shoves his freshly-washed hair under a snapback. This is as classy as he gets mid-tour and sexually frustrated.

Alcohol only helps one of those things and makes the other much, much worse. He has to look like a lovesick boyfriend glancing over at Massu so much, but if any of the band members in attendance notice, they don't call him on it. It doesn't help that Massu looks so  _good_ , the top two buttons of his shirt casually undone and his hair pulled out of his face with a beaded headband that he swears is an upcoming men's fashion trend.

Naturally, Tegoshi drinks too much and ends up falling out of his chair more than once, but he doesn't say anything  _too_ incriminating or kiss anymore men than usual. Massu seems more amused than annoyed as he drags Tegoshi down the hallway to their rooms, arm hooked around his waist after the second time Tegoshi had almost tripped over his own two feet upon exiting the Uber.

"Still wanna talk?" Massu asks after depositing Tegoshi onto his bed, offering a weak smile when his three faces fuse into one from Tegoshi's very careful focus.

"I'm drunk," Tegoshi replies.

"That's usually when the best talks happen," Massu says, voice slurring because he's not that sober either. "Our lack of inhibitions invites honesty...or something."

Tegoshi's trying to kick off his shoes, but they're laced and double-knotted because he's too lazy to keep retying them when they unravel. Knots make him think of ties, which leads to the memory of Massu's fingers dragging along his throat in front of thousands of people, and "You should ask before you touch someone like that. You never know how it will affect them."

"You grabbed my butt in Osaka," Massu points out, and Tegoshi frowns at his stupid  _logic_. "I saw an opportunity, and I took it. I'm sorry if it had an adverse effect on you. I won't do it again."

"That's not what I want at all," Tegoshi says, then sighs as Massu's words echo in his muddy mind.  _I saw an opportunity, and I took it_. "I like being choked during sex."

Massu stares at him for a few seconds, then nods calmly. "I see."

"I want you to do it," Tegoshi goes on, because now it's a game where he has to try a reaction out of the one who is usually so stoic. "I've been thinking about it for months--your hands around my neck, controlling my breath with your thumb on my windpipe, suffocating me just before I come...I want you to do it."

Massu inhales so deeply that Tegoshi feels even more lightheaded, and his exhale has him wavering a bit in his stance. He ends up sitting on the bed by Tegoshi's knees, hands folded in his lap as he looks down at the ugly carpet like it holds all of the answers to life's problems.

"Aren't you with Koyama?" Massu finally asks, and Tegoshi notices the  _anger_  in his voice, which he's doing a very bad job of holding back as he makes fists in his own hands.

"We're not exclusive," Tegoshi assures him. "You can ask him. Actually, I still have a voicemail on my phone from the other day where he goes into detail about you holding me down in this very bed."

Massu makes a deflated noise, and Tegoshi would be pleased at winning his own game if he wasn't so fucking turned on. "Can I hear it?"

"Okay," Tegoshi agrees. He fumbles to get his phone out of his pocket and squints to navigate the screen. Eventually, he finds his voice messages and turns on the speaker, flinging the device onto the neatly-made bedspread as Koyama's digital voice penetrates the heavy air between them.

"Tego-nyan! I miss you! Today, Shige and I went swimming at my sister's and I thought about Massu's muscles. You're strong, but he's stronger, and I bet he could choke you in your hotel bed while you're asleep. Wouldn't that be a nice way to wake up? Him on top of you, pinning you down and stealing your air? Maybe he's using his hands, or maybe he's holding one of his belts flat across your throat, cutting off any appreciative noises as he works his way inside you--"

The silence screams around them as Massu abruptly shuts off the recording, then leans forward with his head in his hands. For a brief second, Tegoshi thinks he might be crying, but his shoulders aren't shaking and Tegoshi's listening so hard that the even breaths are audible.

"Does it have to be so...sadistic?" Massu asks, lifting his head to look at Tegoshi, and Tegoshi doesn't understand why Massu looks so  _sad_  right now.

"No," Tegoshi answers honestly. "That's just Kei-chan's imagination. He wants you to be rough with me because he can't."

"I can't either," Massu says, and Tegoshi prepares himself for the inevitable rejection. "I'm not a cruel person, Tegoshi. If I were to do this for you, it would be gentle and compassionate. I'm sorry if that disappoints you or ruins whatever illusion you had of me."

Tegoshi's so shocked that he doesn't answer right away, and Massu's already stood up to leave by the time he finds his words. "Don't go. I don't need you to be rough. I just assumed it would be that way since you're usually so cold and mean to me. It would be really nice to do it your way. Honest."

"I'm cold and mean because you act like a child," Massu says, followed by a deep breath that appears bigger than he is. "I won't reward your bratty behavior with my attention, on or off stage. But this is different. This is you trusting me with your life, and I take that very seriously, even if I can't stand still."

Tegoshi notices how Massu's struggling to remain upright and laughs despite the tension in the room. Massu laughs too and falls backward onto the bed, lying across Tegoshi's legs and staring up at the ceiling with his chest heaving.

"I'm definitely too drunk to do anything tonight," Massu goes on, and Tegoshi's a little relieved. "But I don't want it hanging over my head for the rest of the tour either. Tomorrow, when we get settled in Sendai, let's put aside some time to talk properly about it. No alcohol."

"Agreed."

Tegoshi flops his arm around until he finds Massu's hand and squeezes it. The angle is awkward and Massu's weight is starting to cut off the circulation to his toes, but it feels so good to have physical contact even if it's just their fingers coiling together.

"Do we have to have sex?" Massu asks, and Tegoshi glances down to see Massu scrunching up his face in obvious displeasure.

"No. I can get myself off. I just can't choke myself."

"Ah." Massu nods and keeps staring at the ceiling; Tegoshi wonders what he sees up there. "I could probably do it then. But we'll talk about it tomorrow. For now, I don't actually know how I'm going to stand back up."

"You can sleep in here," Tegoshi offers. "Just get off my legs...and untie my shoes please."

Massu huffs at being ordered around, but he does as he's told and doesn't even struggle when Tegoshi curls up next to him. Tegoshi already knows he's going to feel like shit tomorrow from drinking so much and sleeping in his clothes, but right now everything's fuzzy and perfect with the promise of finally feeling that indescribable release in the distance.

When he wakes, Massu's gone. He knows the other idol had just retreated to his own room to clean up and get ready to leave, but it still sucks to wake up hungover and alone. For a minute, he thinks he might have dreamt the whole exchange last night, but then he finds his phone paused in the middle of Koyama's voicemail and knows it had to be real.

"It was so surreal, like nothing I could have ever imagined," Tegoshi tells Koyama as he begrudgingly packs up his suitcases. "I honestly don't know what's going to happen tonight, and it's so exciting."

"I can't believe he touched your throat on  _stage_ ," Koyama replies, much more awake than Tegoshi from filming his new TV show early this morning. "Are you sure he didn't already know and wanted to fuck with you? Maybe Shige said something to him."

Tegoshi shakes his head like Koyama could possibly see that, only hurting himself when his headache intensifies. "No. He's a horrible liar. Also, we were trashed."

"You're the only person in the world who purposely doesn't have drunk sex," Koyama chides him, and Tegoshi rolls his eyes.

"It was actually his choice. So, there are two of us," he teases back. "And I do it if I already have sober consent."

Koyama makes a noncommittal noise. "Are you ready for tonight?"

"I've been ready for ten years," Tegoshi tells him. "I just have to get through the next ten hours."

Easier said than done. This is by far the longest day in the history of days, and not just because it's summertime. The weather is much warmer in Sendai, and he'd had a nice nap on the plane, but being well-rested and comfortable only invites the foreign feeling of nervousness about what's to come. Just looking at Massu makes Tegoshi feel fifteen and insecure again, but he holds his head high and flashes a smile just like he'd done back then to make everyone love him.

They check into the new hotel with the band and grab something to eat, both of them begging off any further socializing to relax before a long week of rehearsals and last-minute changes. It's not really a lie, though they don't usually relax  _together_  unless they're recording something for the backstage footage.

There aren't any cameras when Massu follows Tegoshi into his room around sunset, carrying a tote bag whose contents he instantly starts lying out on the bed. Tegoshi watches curiously as a scarf, a tie, and something that looks suspiciously like one of those goth collar accessories from Claire's are placed on the smooth floral bedspread.

"I don't want to use a belt," Massu says, folding his hands behind his back as he takes a few steps away from the bed. "Nor a rope, or anything that will leave marks. I don't think...I won't like seeing that."

"Understood." Tegoshi nods, and Massu rocks back on his heels. "Just your hands are fine too. I'm still so amazed that you're even considering this, I'd let you do it however you want."

"That's nice to hear," Massu says, "because I'm terrified."

Tegoshi tears his eyes away from the objects ( _options_ ) on the bed to stare at Massu. Massu doesn't  _look_  scared, but Tegoshi wouldn't know what that even looks like. He's breathing calmly and standing mostly still, his features all their usual size.

Then he looks at Tegoshi and Tegoshi melts at the  _uncertainty_  radiating from his eyes. It has him crossing the short distance to where Massu stands and throwing his arms around him, abruptly breaking the contact barrier that's existed between them for years and hugging him tightly. He feels Massu inhale against his chest, but his exhale is slow and calming, and only then does Massu lift his own arms to return the embrace, burying his face into Tegoshi's neck.

"Do I just...do it?" Massu asks softly, his deep voice vibrating Tegoshi's skull. "Is it a gradual progression of pressure, or all at once?"

"Let's sit down," Tegoshi says first, and Massu happily allows Tegoshi to guide him down to the bed. His arms don't go far, loosely wrapping around Tegoshi's torso, at least until Tegoshi takes one of his hands and lifts it to his throat. "Start by just touching me here. Get used to it."

Massu exhales like he's deflating and nods. "Okay. I can do that."

Tegoshi gives him an encouraging smile as those fingers return to his neck, lightly feeling out his veins and muscles and a very jumpy Adam's apple. Tegoshi swallows hard and Massu chases that too, making Tegoshi's breath hitch when he reaches the hollow of his collarbone.

"Was that too much?" Massu asks, his voice low and panicked.

"No," Tegoshi answers. "It just feels good."

After a few moments of acquainting himself with Tegoshi's skin, Massu gets bolder and flattens his palm along the curve of Tegoshi's throat. Tegoshi squirms as the resulting heat spreads out through his body, lingering in his fingers and toes while his cock twitches in his pants. Wordlessly, he leans back onto the bed and pulls Massu down with him, grateful for the stability as he stretches out on his back and holds Massu's hand right where it is.

"I still don't know if I want to have sex," Massu tells him, curling up along his side. "But I'm definitely okay with some sexual touching."

Tegoshi almost laughs at the wording, but the light pressure on his throat is enough to keep him compliant and he turns his body to face Massu, sliding his own fingers up Massu's arm to his face. "I'm okay with that too."

Massu kisses him, lifting his hand enough to cup Tegoshi's jaw, leaving his thumb pressed lightly under Tegoshi's chin as a reminder. Tegoshi's already so hot that kissing turns him on even more, but Massu seems to need some more time to catch up. Since he'd given his consent, Tegoshi lowers his hand to Massu's waist and slips under his shirt, feeling the warmth and smooth texture of his abdominal muscles.

He moves around to the front and now Massu comes to life, kissing him harder and more deeply as Tegoshi gets bolder in his touches. His fingers drift along Massu's happy trail to the waistband of his pants, teasing for just a few seconds before dipping underneath to touch the hardness within, and Massu's moan tastes sweet.

"Let's lose the clothes," Tegoshi suggests, pressing the words into Massu's lips between kisses, and Massu nods as much as he can without leaving Tegoshi's mouth. He ends up having to do it anyway when Tegoshi pulls his shirt over his head, but Massu's wearing another button-down and seems to enjoy how frustrated Tegoshi gets opening button after button.

Tegoshi hesitates after Massu kicks off his pants, but Massu's the one to shove down his underwear next and Tegoshi's not about to turn away a rare display of Massu's completely naked body before him. He lets his hands roam free and Massu's noises are nothing but encouraging, leading Tegoshi to touch him as much as he's touching Tegoshi, though one hand stays up by his neck.

He ends up back on his back when Massu rolls him over, but it gives Massu more control over both of his hands and Tegoshi finds his hips rocking up towards nothing, desperate for friction. "I'm gonna touch myself now," he declares, and it's Massu's breath that hitches this time. "I can touch you too, if you want, but you gotta get on top of me."

"If I get on top of you, I'm gonna wanna go inside you," Massu says bluntly, and Tegoshi's skin trembles at the thought.

"That's okay too," Tegoshi assures him, but Massu's twitch has him backtracking. "Or I can make sure you don't, if you don't want to."

"I don't know what I want," Massu breathes out, his body seeming to betray him as he touches Tegoshi as much as he can with one hand. Arm to chest to hip to leg, groaning as Tegoshi's thighs part naturally for him, and now Tegoshi's the one twitching as Massu trails his fingers over his balls and up the length of his erection.

"We won't, then," Tegoshi decides, leaning up to kiss the frown on Massu's face. "If you decide you want to later, we can do this again. You're doing something so much better for me now."

Massu's thumb actively rubs under Tegoshi's jaw at those words, and Massu's next breath sounds relieved. "Let me do this first," he finally says. "I want to focus on what I'm doing and not what you're doing to me."

"Fair enough," Tegoshi agrees.

He lets his eyes fall shut as he reaches down to coil his fingers around himself, arching into the desperate stimulation. Massu moves his hand down and thumbs the bump in Tegoshi's neck that doesn't stay still, undeterred by Tegoshi's gasps and jerks.

"How will I know if it's too much, or if I'm doing it wrong?" Massu asks, and Tegoshi can feel those concerned eyes on him.

"I'll stop," Tegoshi tells him, followed by a moan as he twists his wrist and really gets into it. "You're doing well, Massu. You can squeeze a little harder, but make sure I can breathe--until you want me to come, that is."

Massu makes a noise of acknowledgment and follows directions, flattening his palm along Tegoshi's throat and curling his fingers just enough to make Tegoshi thrust up into his own hand. His head leans back as far as it can, exposing his neck and throat for Massu's taking, fully trusting. Massu tightens his grip tentatively yet firm, remaining stable despite his nerves and Tegoshi  _finally_ starts to feel that coil of pressure inside him, the one that has only been a distant memory up until now.

"Massu," he gets out, his words cut off by his blocked airway, and Massu lets up enough for him to inhale properly. He's pleasantly lightheaded, the buzz lingering on his skin, but he wants more-- _needs_  more. "I know it's scary, but please don't stop. It feels so good."

He's silenced again by a much harder grab to his throat, one that only lasts a second before loosening. Tegoshi wonders if Massu's starting to enjoy this, if he's disgusted with himself for being so receptive to having this kind of power, or if he's ignoring his own feelings in favor of doing this for Tegoshi. In one last coherent action, Tegoshi nudges his free hand to where Massu's is clinging to his hip, comforting him the best he can while steadily reaching his peak.

His orgasm looms in the distance, arriving much faster than Tegoshi would have liked, but he fends it off every time Massu relaxes his grip. The back-and-forth has his arousal roaring even more, beyond ready to come, but this isn't about just that. It's a different release he's craving, one that Massu's bringing him dangerously close to with each teasing brush of his thumb along Tegoshi's windpipe.

"Ready?" Massu asks, his voice a rush of air, and Tegoshi no longer has any doubts that Massu's any less than fully involved in this act. "Let go of my hand when you want to breathe again."

Tegoshi nods as well as he can with his neck seized, and his next gasp for air is denied. Massu's hold stays strong even as he chokes, hand flying up and down his cock until his body rocks with orgasm, but the suffocation takes him higher, the aftershocks keeping him there even as he slips out of consciousness.

The next thing he knows, the pressure's gone, and Tegoshi coughs as his lungs jump to do their job now that they are allowed to again. It feels even better when the oxygen returns to his brain, leaving him in some kind of limbic state as the pleasure and pain crash beautifully inside him.

"Are you okay?" Massu asks, sounding a bit frantic, and Tegoshi squeezes the hand he'd never let go of. "I'm sorry. I had to stop. You were losing color in your face, and I thought..."

"It's okay," Tegoshi assures him, his voice gravelly and without depth. "It was perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Tegoshi forces open his eyes to find Massu staring down at him, looking worried and caring and aroused all at once. It's more emotions than Tegoshi usually sees from this one, even individually, and the warmth of his heart competes with all of the other sensations flowing through him in this moment.

"Come here," Tegoshi says, finally detaching his fingers from Massu's to push Massu's sweat-slicked hair out of his face as he complies. "What you just did for me was so fucking amazing. What can I do for you?"

"I..." Massu trails off again, his eyes darting down to where Tegoshi's lips are still parting from his desperate gasps for air. "Just touch me, I guess."

"With my hand?" Tegoshi suggests as he easily switches their positions, rolling Massu onto his back and hovering over him. "Or do you want my mouth?"

"Is that too much?" Massu asks, and Tegoshi smiles as how much Massu's holding back his needs for Tegoshi's comfort. "Your throat has to hurt. I don't want to make it worse."

"How about I use both?" Tegoshi compromises, and Massu nods like that's all he needed to hear to openly want a blow job. "It's okay. Sometimes, I like being choked this way too."

Massu's groan shakes the whole bed as Tegoshi tongues his way down Massu's chest, pausing just below his belly button to tease. Massu's cock is hard and leaking against his thigh, thick enough to stretch Tegoshi's lips as he sucks the head, and Massu's breathing gets heavier until he's actively moaning with each squeeze of Tegoshi's mouth.

As promised, Tegoshi brings his hand up to stroke the shaft, which quickly has Massu trembling beneath him. The hand that had brought Tegoshi so much pleasure now finds its way to his hair, gently tugging on it to set the pace. It has Tegoshi even more willing to do this, though he may cheat and swallow down Massu's entire length a few times just to feel the burn in his throat.

"Tego..." Massu starts, and Tegoshi looks up in time to see Massu shaking his head at whatever thought forms at that. " _Yuuya_."

Tegoshi hums at the way his given name sounds in his voice. He tightens his fingers around Massu's cock and licks the tip as he moves in contrast, sucking down as he strokes up and Massu's hips give a cant that couldn't have been voluntary.

"Sorry," Massu breathes, and Tegoshi makes another noise around his length. "I'm getting close. Feels too good."

The praise washes over Tegoshi like another orgasm, making him cheat a little more and take more of Massu past his lips. Massu doesn't stop him, just keeps moaning at the way Tegoshi's throat constricts around the head each time Tegoshi sucks him down, which gradually becomes faster as Massu gets louder.

"I'm gonna come," Massu says, sounding like he's forcing out the words. "I'm  _coming_."

Tegoshi pulls back enough to accept the release on his tongue, drinking down everything that Massu gives him and continuing to suck until he hears the familiar whine of discomfort. It's Massu who guides Tegoshi back up his body with the loose grip on his hair, which softens to a gentle stroke when Tegoshi curls up on top of him, rising and falling with each heave of Massu's breath.

"Don't think too hard about it," Tegoshi whispers, pressing a chaste kiss to Massu's jaw when his breathing doesn't calm down. "It was fun, it felt  _really_  good, and maybe we needed this."

A laugh interrupts Massu's next breath. "I don't think too hard about anything. Especially after my brain has just been sucked out of my dick."

Tegoshi laughs too, fading into a comfortable silence as Massu lifts an arm to wrap around him. It's not the most affectionate of snuggles, but it works for them. Massu had already used his strength where Tegoshi wanted it most anyway.

He expects things to be weird, but they're not at all. He expects Massu to tease him on stage again, or even approach him for another tryst, but neither of those things happen. They finish their last Tegomasu tour with a lot of tears--mostly Tegoshi's--and both Koyama and Shige attend the final show to crash the encore.

"Thank you for taking care of Tegomasu up until now," Koyama tells their sobbing fans, and Tegoshi bawls harder in Shige's reluctant embrace. "We'll take over from here."

"We're not going anywhere..." Massu points out, eyes dry. He's back to his stoic self, looking to all the world like none of this bothers him, but Tegoshi knows the truth.

Koyama and Shige join the last after-concert meal with Tegomasu and their band, catching up on recent events and prophesying about the future like any other time they've all gotten together.

It's only later when it's just the four of them that Shige stares at Massu, a mixture of awe and alcohol leaving him looking like Massu is something ephemeral. "I still can't believe you actually choked Tegoshi."

"Me neither," Massu agrees easily, though his eyes flicker over to where Tegoshi's watching with mild curiosity.

"Would you do it again?" Koyama asks, way too invested for obvious reasons.

"Yeah," Massu answers, and Tegoshi inhales sharply. "It's nice to get him to shut up every once in a while."

Koyama and Shige laugh at that, but Tegoshi just stares as the memory attacks him full force, a phantom hand wrapped around his neck that squeezes when Massu's smirk meets his.

Challenge accepted.


End file.
